Helping People
Make Something Beautiful Out Of The Broken Pieces

What is the best way to tell children about your divorce?

Just like you may have had a tough time deciding that divorce was the most favorable decision for you and your current spouse, you may have a hard time breaking the news to your children. Do you know what to say or how to frame it?

Psychology Today offers tips to help share your decision with your children. Because kids often remember such conversations, you must handle the conversation with grace.

Script your words

This is not a discussion to have off the cuff. Besides planning your opening words, decide on a favorable time and place to deliver your script. Aim for the weekend rather than right before bedtime or school, as you do not want to rush the conversation.

Break the news with your spouse

No matter what you say to your kids, say it with your current spouse. Revealing the news together exemplifies the fact that you and your spouse remain united in raising and caring for your kids together, even after you divorce.

Once you break the news, you may want to talk to your kids separately depending on their ages. Older kids may have different questions that you would rather not answer in front of your younger children.

Refrain from blame

One question that you can expect from your kids is why you and your soon-to-be-ex want to divorce. You or your current spouse may feel tempted to point fingers at each other, but doing so is a dangerous move. Your kids may feel that they have to choose a side, especially if one parent sounds like the villain and the other the victim. Focus less on blame and more on using the word “we” when sharing the cause for your divorce.